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Unless a person is in the acting field, the role of emotions at work seems trivial, if not counterproductive. Why should social insight matter in sales, self-motivation in IT, or emotional reflection in management? Because emotions are part of our humanity, and if we’re not dealing with our own emotions on a day-to-day basis, we’re dealing with other people’s. This is why “emotional intelligence” matters, why this concept has been thrown around a great deal in the psychology field, and in recent decades has become a hot buzzword in HR.

Research we conducted on nearly 35,000 people using the MEIQ - HR (Multi-dimensional Emotional Intelligence Quotient – Human Resources Version) reveals that top performers at work outscored their less successful counterparts on all 33 EQ competencies, 23 of which were by 10 points or more (on a scale from 0 to 100). The most notable differences were found on traits like resilience, self-motivation, self-esteem, positive mindset, and self-control. Those with high emotional intelligence were also less likely to find themselves in conflict situations at work, and more likely to be popular among their peers.

A lot of HR managers will look at someone’s CV, review references, and if the interview goes well, will assume they’ve got a great job candidate on their hand - and on paper, the may seem suitable. Here’s the kicker: If technical competencies were crucial to job success, why is it that some people who should be performing well don’t? As soon as they start working, cracks in their seemingly perfect facade start to appear. They can’t handle pressure, struggle to get along with the existing team, or otherwise fail to live up to their full potential. What went wrong? Our research shows that to a large degree, the missing link is emotional intelligence.

For example, the importance of emotional intelligence in highly people-oriented fields was particularly prominent in our study. According to our data, the top five fields with the highest emotional intelligence scores include those who work with the community, health practioners, managers, clerical workers/administrative assistants, and those who practice law. And if you think that all this emotional intelligence frenzy is just some touchy-feely mumbo jumbo that has no practical impact, consider these statistics:

• 98% of those with high EQ (compared to 77% of those with low EQ) enjoy learning new things.
• 82% of those with high EQ (compared to 43% of those with low EQ) carefully think through decisions before moving forward.
• 82% of those with high EQ (compared to 38% of those with low EQ) believe that they are useful to their company and know exactly how the organization benefits from their skills and strengths.
• 94% of those with high EQ (compared to 52% of those with low EQ) continuously look for ways to improve their performance at work.
• 93% of those with high EQ (compared to 34% of those with low EQ) have complete confidence in their abilities.
• In the face of major challenges, 81% of those with high EQ (compared to 23% of those with low EQ) become even more determined to succeed.
• 46% of those with low EQ (compared to 8% of those with high EQ) are not satisfied with their work unless someone else praises it.
• 39% of those with low EQ (compared to 2% of those with high EQ) rely on others to “push” or motivate them.

If your organization is dealing with a great deal of turnover, burnout, low productivity, poor motivation, low engagement, poor customer service, or a lack of team unity, it would be a good idea to consider the role of emotional intelligence in these circumstances. Whether we realize it or not, our emotions impact the decisions we make, the way we solve problems, and the manner in which we handle challenges and conflict – all of which can factor into our potential for success. We need to realize that traditional forms of intelligence are only one part of the success equation. The good news is that emotional intelligence is trainable - EQ can be improved through practice, reflection, observation and knowledge.

The following EQ exercises can be done individually or as part of a team-building process:

Exercise 1 – Failure is just another way of saying “This way doesn’t work.”

Failure is such an ugly word. The fact that our teachers pointed it out on our papers with a big red “F” certainly didn’t help improve its image. Failure can hold such power over us. When we take on challenges, we see it looming, rearing its ugly head and leering at us. It slips into the unfiltered cracks in our mind just at the moment when we start to doubt ourselves. We may even totally avoid challenges or setting goals because we know it’s there lurking in the bushes, ready to stick its leg out and trip us. But failure is a lesson in disguise. It’s success turned upside down. And when we start to look at failure in a different, more positive light, we learn valuable information that we can use to turn things around, and inspire us to try again.

Take a moment to reflect on the last major failure you faced. Then, answer the questions below.

1)     If you had the chance to do everything all over again, what would you do differently this time around?

2)     What strengths, assets, information, or materials do you have now (that you didn’t have then) that could improve your chances of success?

3)     Who or what inspired you to take this on in the first place?

4)     What lessons did you learn? What mistakes did you make that you want to avoid in the future?

5)     If someone you know had to take on this same challenge, what advice would you offer him or her?

6)     Are there any negative habits you had in response to this failure that you would like to change for the better (e.g. you become easily discouraged, you place the blame on others, etc.)?

7)     What are some of the self-limiting beliefs you have about failure (e.g. only losers fail; failing at something makes you a failure as a person, etc.)?

8)     Put a positive spin on failure – what were the benefits of not succeeding at this? How can you turn this failure into an opportunity?

9)     What motivates you to keep trying after facing this failure?

Exercise 2 – Walking a mile in someone else’s shoes

The ability to see the world through someone else’s eyes is an invaluable ability, especially for managers. Empathy cannot be faked. While it certainly doesn’t mean that you need to feel someone’s pain to the point where it brings tears to your eyes, it does require you to take the blinders off and put yourself in other people’s position. It means understanding how every word you say and every decision you make will impact them emotionally and psychologically. The mini vignettes below will give you a chance to practice empathy, and use the information to take appropriate action.

1)     Your team has their nose to the grindstone trying to finish a project with a tight deadline. Last-minute changes on the part of a client have forced them to stay late and arrive early just to stay on track, and they are feeling the pressure. If they do manage to finish the project on time, it will probably be by the skin of their teeth. How would you as a manager deal with this situation?

2)     You’re a new manager in the company. The small team you need to lead is made up of a mix of some very outspoken extroverts and some very quiet introverts. Your first order of business is to have a meeting with everyone to discuss a new project proposal. How would you approach this mixed group?

Exercise 3 – If our hearts were sewn on our sleeve…

Negative emotions like anger and sadness get such a bad rap. If anything, negative emotions are a signal that all is not well – that we are off-course with our desires. Unfortunately, many of us either don’t channel our negative emotions in a healthy way, or we do something just as bad: we repress them.

What do you do with your emotions? And most importantly, do these techniques make you feel better or worse? Take a look at the Emotion/Action/Reaction table below, and fill in the necessary information.

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