Welcome to the thrilling world of employee onboarding—that magical time when new hires nod along while understanding absolutely nothing, quietly question their life choices, and try to remember five new names they just immediately forgot.
I'm being a little snarky, but to be fair, that's what onboarding feels like for most people. It's usually a mix of awkward intros, outdated training videos, and way too much information in too little time. But it doesn't have to be. With a little effort, you can create an onboarding program that's not just tolerable, but—dare I say—actually useful. Maybe even fun.
Here's your step-by-step guide to making onboarding a little less awful—for everyone involved.
Step 1: Roll out the red carpet (but skip the actual carpet—maybe).
First impressions matter, and onboarding is all about making sure your new hire feels welcome from the moment they step through the door or log in from their home office. Start by welcoming them. Include a lunch and break schedule, places around the building to get food, and some fun facts about the team.
Super awesome extra tip: Surprise them with some company swag—a mug, t-shirt, or even a quirky desk toy. It's a small gesture that says, "Welcome to the family; we're cool, we promise."
Step 2: Give them the grand tour (virtual or otherwise).
Remember that feeling when you were a kid and got lost in a department store? Walking into a new workplace is the grown-up version of that. Whether you're in an office or remote, make sure your new hire knows where to go to find documents or information and who to talk to if they need help. And please—please—make sure it's someone who actually wants to help, not the kind of person who acts so irritated by questions that your new hire decides it's safer to wander around aimlessly rather than ask where the bathroom is.
For people who will be working in an actual place: Give a quick tour of the building and/or workspace—show them the important spots like the break room, bathrooms, and their designated work area. Throw in some insider info, like which snacks disappear first in the kitchen.
For people working from the comfort of their home: Set up a virtual tour of your digital workplace. Walk them through your collaboration tools, explain the sacred art of Slack etiquette, and introduce them to the wonders of the shared Google Drive.
Super awesome extra tip: Don't assume anything is "obvious." What's second nature to you—like where the good coffee is or where the supplies are—might as well be top-secret intel to a new hire. Share the little stuff. It makes a big difference.
Step 3: Introduce them to the dream team.
No one wants to feel like the new kid who eats lunch alone. Make introductions less awkward by scheduling meet-and-greets with key team members. These can be informal coffee chats or more structured meetings depending on your company's vibe.
Super awesome extra tip: Create a "buddy system" where a friendly coworker takes the new hire under their wing. This buddy can answer questions, offer support, and help them avoid any rookie mistakes—like accidentally hitting "Reply All" on a company-wide email.
Step 4: Start training, but make it fun.
Training is essential, but it doesn't have to be a snoozefest. Mix up the formats—combine videos, interactive quizzes, and hands-on tasks to keep things engaging. And remember, nobody learns everything in one day, so spread out the sessions to avoid information overload.
Super awesome extra tip: Gamify the experience. Offer small rewards for milestones, like completing a training module or completing a task without help.
Step 5: Make the person's responsibilities crystal clear.
There's nothing worse than starting a new job and having no clue what's expected of you. At my first job, I was handed a massive pile of files and told to "put them away"—with absolutely zero explanation of the filing system. (Good luck finding those now, Sabrina.)
So, be clear about roles and responsibilities from day one. Set up a meeting with the new hire to go over short-term and long-term goals. Walk them through their first project—and make it an easy one. Trust me, it's the difference between a proud "I nailed it” moment and quietly crying in the bathroom.
Super awesome extra tip: While you're at it, make sure they understand your company's culture and vibe—like whether casual Friday means jeans, or showing up in full pajamas.
Step 6: Check in often.
Don't just set them loose and hope for the best. I can't even begin to explain how aggravating it is when you're new. Regular check-ins during the first few weeks are crucial. This gives the new hire a chance to ask questions, get feedback, and share how they're feeling about their new role.
Super awesome extra tip: Remind your new hire that there are no stupid questions (seriously, there aren't!). This is their opportunity to voice any concerns or confusion freely, without feeling like they're being judged or scrutinized.
Step 7: Gather feedback (and actually use it).
Onboarding is a two-way street. Once your new hire has settled in, ask them for feedback on the onboarding process. What worked? What didn't? What could you do better next time? Use this information to continually improve your program.
Super awesome extra tip: Have a candid chat with the new hire a couple of months into their role. Their insights could be the key to making your onboarding process even better. Make it clear that all feedback, even if it's negative, is helpful.
Step 8: Never stop onboarding.
Onboarding shouldn't end after the first week (or even the first month). Continue to provide support, coaching, learning opportunities, and check-ins as your new hire grows into their role. Think of onboarding as a marathon, not a sprint.
Super awesome extra tip: Create a 90-day plan that gradually builds confidence and skills. Start with the basics, then introduce more complex responsibilities over time. Layer in ongoing learning opportunities—like shadowing, mentoring, or hands-on projects—to keep momentum going and help the new hire feel consistently supported. For example, have them spend a day in each department to understand how all the moving parts fit together. It's a great way to build empathy, context, and a deeper appreciation for how the everything runs.
In conclusion...
Creating an effective onboarding program doesn't have to be a whole lot of extra, boring work. With a little creativity and a lot of empathy, you can build a process that's not only effective but memorable. Remember, onboarding is your first chance to show new hires that they made the right choice by joining your team. Make it count.
